Halloween (Unrated) 2007

By: WORLDS BEST GRANDMA

Genre: Horror

Awesome Level: Awesomely Confusing

Cheeseburger Rating: 5/10

 

So, usually I’m a huge player hater when it comes to remakes of classic films… but how can ANYBODY player hate on this movie. Rob Zombies version of the movie ‘Halloween’ is totally awesome. It’s got all of the characteristics that a shitty scary movie should have. The entire movie is just plastered with brutally vivid murders, tits covered in blood, creepy masks, and dumb bitches making poor decisions.

The movie begins as a precursor to how Michael Myers became a ruthless psycho killer. After killing his entire family as a child, Michael spent the next 10 years of his life in a mental institution. Eventually, he breaks out of the mental institution to ‘find his sister’… and ends up just destroying everything in his path…

After watching this film, you may find your confused stoner self asking things like ‘What the fuck is this guys motive for killing everybody he comes in contact with? Does he WANT to kill his little sister? How is he not dead yet!? Why the FUCK can’t this guy manage to open a door? And, What the fuck is with the ending? There is no doubt that this movie, while awesome, is extremely confusing. BUT, If you’re in the mood for a classically campy slasher film, I highly suggest that you watch this one.

So, for all you stoners out there, I suggest that you wait until night time, gather a stoner crew, make some popcorn, assemble your paraphernalia, and remain as ripped as possible throughout the entire movie.

Stay High,

WORLDS BEST GRANDMA

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