I am one of the creepiest people I know. One factor of my creepiness is my lifelong obsession with vampires. I love the idea of being able to live forever, be more powerful and hypnotic than humans…and the whole drinking blood thing sounds delicious (worst vegetarian ever). Anyways, here is my top ten best vampire films on Netflix:
10. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
“Honest Abe: he was the 16th president, the Great Emancipator… and a righteous slayer of the undead spurred to action by his mom’s vampiric murder.”
You know just the title of this one makes you curious…
9. Lesbian Vampire Killers
On a getaway to the country, a young couple find themselves stuck in a village where all the women have been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse.
The only thing more dangerous to mankind than vampires…is lesbian vampires…beware male colony, we’re coming to get you.
8. Dracula 2000
When Dracula is accidentally freed from a century of confinement in a vault, he sets off on a voracious quest for world domination and eternal life.
Gotta have king shit himself in this list somewhere right? Also, Wes Craven directed this- very promising.
7. Blade: Trinity
Recognizing that they’re powerless to stop vampire hunter Blade, the vampires who rule the human race set up Blade to look like a serial killer.
6. Underworld: Awakening
Reprising her role as the vampire Selene, Kate Beckinsale stars in this installment in the stylish vampires vs. werewolves franchise.
Kate Beckinsale in leather? Shall I say more? –Conflicted Feminist
5. 30 Days of Night:
“With help from some eccentric vampire hunters, widow Stella Olemaun stalks the queen vampire responsible for the attack Stella survived in Alaska”
More of a thriller than a vampire flick. And by that I mean the vampires aren’t sexy. They are terrifying and hideous (kind of like those from Buffy…ie, not True Blood). Also, set in Alaska where they experience month-long periods where they see NO sun. Who the fuck would want to live there??
4. Let Me In
“When 12-year-old Owen befriends neighbor Abby, their bond helps him confront bullies, but he soon suspects his mysterious friend has a dark secret.”
I found this movie to be more of a commentary on the tragic effects of bullying. Also this is based on two children. One of them happens to be a vampire, and her relationship with her loner neighbor tells a very lovely, yet depressing story. If you’re into creepy children and/or being depressed, this is a must-watch.
“Paul Bettany stars as a man of the cloth who’s hell-bent on rescuing his niece while taking down a horde of rampaging vampires in the process.”
Oddly enough, Paul Bettany does NOT play vampire in this film. He should, because not only is he creepy as fuck, but he has the perfect pigmentation for the role (ie, he has none).
2. Night Watch
This first installment of this trilogy plays on the tension between light and dark, pitting superhuman patrollers against shadowy forces of the night
I read this book as a child and probably introduced me to my first existential crisis. Being a regular human is no fun. Also, this book/film has of the most intriguing plots ever.
1. From Dusk Till Dawn
Two robbers take a man and his kids hostage. Racing to the Mexican border, the criminals rendezvous at a cantina — not knowing it is a vampire den.
Directed by Robert Rodriguez and stars George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino. Oh, and Danny Trejo (from Machete). You know you’ll always have a thing for scarred, moustached Mexicans for the rest of your life because of him. Sigh.