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Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (2011)

By: Onya Ganja

Genre: Documentary

Awesome Level: When I got to turn it off early, I felt pretty damn awesome.

Happy Stoner Rating: 3/10


So, I could tell my roommate really wanted to watch this movie and … I have a crush on the cardboard cutout of J.B. in Shopper’s. So I agreed to watch it. I am a try anything once kind of girl after all (well anything but ass-sex and crack-cocaine, especially in combination). I decided I needed two kinds of weed to get through this flick. I went with the “Heavy D” and “4:20” entries of the Medical Marijuana Cup (refer to photos).

So I was pretty fucking high when I started to watch this movie. Not so high that I was tempted to wear sunglasses inside but high enough. I enjoyed the really bold statements my roommate made during the portion I could tolerate watching. Bold statements like “I love him” and “J.B. is the new Brad Pitt”.

What it all comes down to is that I can never objectify the cardboard cutout of J.B. ever again, even though he looks like a lesbian. You know why? This film showed me that there is more to J.B. than his girlish good-looks.  This movie made me see how J.B. started out by playing the bongos and jazz gigs. That’s pretty fucking cool.

If you daydream about smothering J.B. with your love – I am sure you will dig this whole film. If not, you will probably have to turn it off after about 40 minutes … tops … even if you are too high to pay attention.

Final thought: I am a little ashamed for watching this… I wonder how much more ashamed I will feel after I watch “The Human Centipede”. Hmm …

Toke it easy,

Onya Ganja

Halloween (Unrated) 2007


Genre: Horror

Awesome Level: Awesomely Confusing

Cheeseburger Rating: 5/10


So, usually I’m a huge player hater when it comes to remakes of classic films… but how can ANYBODY player hate on this movie. Rob Zombies version of the movie ‘Halloween’ is totally awesome. It’s got all of the characteristics that a shitty scary movie should have. The entire movie is just plastered with brutally vivid murders, tits covered in blood, creepy masks, and dumb bitches making poor decisions.

The movie begins as a precursor to how Michael Myers became a ruthless psycho killer. After killing his entire family as a child, Michael spent the next 10 years of his life in a mental institution. Eventually, he breaks out of the mental institution to ‘find his sister’… and ends up just destroying everything in his path…

After watching this film, you may find your confused stoner self asking things like ‘What the fuck is this guys motive for killing everybody he comes in contact with? Does he WANT to kill his little sister? How is he not dead yet!? Why the FUCK can’t this guy manage to open a door? And, What the fuck is with the ending? There is no doubt that this movie, while awesome, is extremely confusing. BUT, If you’re in the mood for a classically campy slasher film, I highly suggest that you watch this one.

So, for all you stoners out there, I suggest that you wait until night time, gather a stoner crew, make some popcorn, assemble your paraphernalia, and remain as ripped as possible throughout the entire movie.

Stay High,



Community (Season 1)


Genre:  Comedy Sitcom

Awesome Level: Awesome SAUCE

Cheeseburger Rating: 10/10

Before you decide that there’s nothing good on Netflix anymore, and it’s time to be productive with your life, think again. This show legitimately fucks my mind with pure awesomeness every time I watch it.

The premise of the show is pretty simplistic; a lawyer is forced to go back to a dysfunctional community college after his education is found out to be fake. He joins a study group of quirky misfits,  hilarious antics ensue, yadda, yadda, yadda… but OH MY LORD, this show is so much more… Community is the perfect mixture of sexyness, sassiness, and cuteness and is almost too amazing for a normal person to handle.

So for all you stoners out there, I suggest that you smoke a bong and spend and entire day on your couch watching Community; there is no other way to fully experience it’s pure, unbelievable, awesomeness. I guarantee that not a SINGLE one of you will regret this decision.

Stay High,



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