FIRST POST

I’m just throwing together a post right now to fill up the space… I guarantee you that the posts will get better over time… we just need to get into the groove of things. 🙂

Over the christmas break my mom bought me acrylic and water colour paints, and a bunch of canvas. I’ve dabbled in painting a couple of times before… but I haven’t really spanned beyond painting my own shoe or a bowl of wax fruit. So, this is the first painting I’ve ever done that wasn’t a huge pile of shit. It’s yet to be named, and probably never will be. I THINK that these are raspberries? But who knows… while painting this I was hugely ripped and watching Stand By Me on Netflix :p

 

Stay High,

 

WORLDS BEST GRANDMA

Dearest Readers ….

We were debating how much depth we want the blog to have. Should we let shit get serious? Or keep it light and fluffy? We are all for light and fluffy but while we were mulling it over we got an angry email from a reader. It essentially said “have fun being fucking looser ‘Stoners’ for the rest of your lives”. We will take that as a compliment and it helped us make our decision.

Stoner Apology Side Note: (Also for the record what I said on here to make the sender write the angry email is something I will apologize for. I joke about everything, it wasn’t personal at all. What you think was said to me by a certain person – was not. Really.)

So, we are going to add a little more depth to the blog. Don’t get us wrong though, we are going to perpetuate ‘Stoner’ stereotypes like there is no tomorrow. Both in the blog and inside our local convenience stores. You know why? Because we see being a ‘Stoner’ as a positive, not a negative. We are chilled out, down to earth girls who don’t take anything too seriously. Including ourselves. (Not to say that we can’t act like crazy bitches sometimes. Lez-be-honest, everyone can. Even dudes.)

Toke it easy Readers,

Onya Ganja

Purple Power Plant (One of my Grower’s Gals)

Footloose (2011)

By: WORLDS BEST GRANDMA

Genre: Drama, Musical, Teen Drama

Awesome Level: About as awesome as PpL wHO WriTe LykE Dis…

Cheese Burger Rating: 2/10 (only because the main chick is sexy and I have a weird thing for Dennis Quaid)

ImageImage

I have NO idea what compelled me to watch this movie. Maybe it was the prescription drugs, or maybe it had something to do with the Say Yes To The Dress marathon I had just watched for three hours… either way, I have never regretted a decision more.

I clicked on this movie hoping to see tractor fights and kevin bacon look a likes… but that wasn’t the case AT ALL. The entire movie was basically just a bunch of people, with no acting experience, thrown into a field and told to flail their arms and legs around for a hour and a half. The only good part about this movie was the fact that everyone was beautiful, and enjoyable to look at, and that Dennis Quaid was in it… and if you ask me, those are HARDLY reasons for ANYONE to watch a movie.

So due to the fact that I was bound to the couch with my broken leg, I wasn’t able to smoke weed to watch this movie, maybe if I was able to smoke weed it wouldn’t have been such an epic pile of shit. I don’t suggest that anybody watch this movie unless you’re a 13 year old girl who still thinks that movie love stories make logical sense, and that watching people dance in a farmers field is interesting on any level. If you’re GOING to watch this movie and commit brain cell genocide.. I highly suggest that you get right fucked before hand so you don’t realize that you’ve subjected yourself to one of the worst remakes of an awesome movie EVER.

Stay High,

WORLDS BEST GRANDMA

Image

Dear Readers …

Dear Readers,

The Stoner Girls are super sorry that we haven’t been posting many reviews lately. Let’s face it… asking two stoners to commit to writing reviews consistently is a bit unrealistic. But, I promise that we’ll try to stop being so lazy and write more reviews soon.

Happy smoking everyone!

A Complete History of My Sexual Failures (2008)

By: Onya Ganja

Genre: Documentary, Romantic

Happy Stoner Rating: 2/10

I went with a Sativa/Haze leaning skunk for this film. (The kind of weed that makes everything you own smell like a dead skunk zombie army is following you around). It also kinda makes me feel like I have a pumpkin for a head and all the seeds have been scooped out. Know what I mean? Nevertheless, I should of went for an ice-pick lobotomy for this flick … is there a weird strain called that? I hope so.

Anyways, fuck this film. I was  tempted to turn it off after 2 minutes but got 56 minutes deep on account of some of this guy’s ex-girlfriends being of that interesting looking hot variety (my favourite variety).

Can I have those minutes of my life back? (Said myself and I am sure all the women he ever slept with.) It almost reminded me of the vignettes I have to watch in my abnormal psychological lectures. Is he clinical insane? Or just really annoying? Let’s debate! Fuck that noise.

I don’t want to sound like a murderous bitch but after 56 minutes of this guy’s stupid face I can see why one of his ex-girlfriends wrote a murder fantasy book about him. You know what though, I could almost tolerate his face but it was the limp flaccid penis shots that allowed me to work through my highness and turn the TV off.

Final Thought: Fuck this film and fuck this guy’s expressionless face. I give “A Complete History of My Sexual Failures” a 2/10 because it sort of made me feel like less of a failure at relationships. Which was kinda nice.

Toke it easy,

Onya Ganja

1 577 578 579 580 581