By: Onya Ganja
Genre: Documentary, Romantic
Happy Stoner Rating: 2/10
I went with a Sativa/Haze leaning skunk for this film. (The kind of weed that makes everything you own smell like a dead skunk zombie army is following you around). It also kinda makes me feel like I have a pumpkin for a head and all the seeds have been scooped out. Know what I mean? Nevertheless, I should of went for an ice-pick lobotomy for this flick … is there a weird strain called that? I hope so.
Anyways, fuck this film. I was tempted to turn it off after 2 minutes but got 56 minutes deep on account of some of this guy’s ex-girlfriends being of that interesting looking hot variety (my favourite variety).
Can I have those minutes of my life back? (Said myself and I am sure all the women he ever slept with.) It almost reminded me of the vignettes I have to watch in my abnormal psychological lectures. Is he clinical insane? Or just really annoying? Let’s debate! Fuck that noise.
I don’t want to sound like a murderous bitch but after 56 minutes of this guy’s stupid face I can see why one of his ex-girlfriends wrote a murder fantasy book about him. You know what though, I could almost tolerate his face but it was the limp flaccid penis shots that allowed me to work through my highness and turn the TV off.
Final Thought: Fuck this film and fuck this guy’s expressionless face. I give “A Complete History of My Sexual Failures” a 2/10 because it sort of made me feel like less of a failure at relationships. Which was kinda nice.
Toke it easy,